I Keep Asking: Why?
by PaperHeadPhones
Summary: Set after Claude kills Alois and puts his soul into the Trancy ring so that he can acquire Ciel. Alois is fully aware of what's happening. Now all he wants to know is why it turned out this way.
1. Chapter 1

**I Keep Asking: "Why?"**

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A/N: Yes, I fucking know. "You should be working on KKC or Tossed, missy.". Well, shuddap. D: My muse has gone missing to continue those stories, and my head is full of all these bloody songfics. ARGHDFDAdsfdsf. So this is one-sided Claude/Alois, the sided being Alois. of course.

Claude, I lust after you. But at the same time: _You're a fucking cock._

I dedicate this to my followers on Tumblr. Where I role-play as the lovely Grell Sutcliff. Shocker?

No?

Okay.

If you're on Tumblr, hit me up. I'm "atouchofdeath" on there.

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Pairing: One-sided Claude/Alois.  
>Song: Slipped Away- Avril Lavigne.<br>Rating: T.

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_"I miss you,_  
><em>Miss you so bad.<em>  
><em>I don't forget you.<em>  
><em>Oh, it's so sad.<em>

_I hope you can hear me,_  
><em>I remember it clearing.<em>  
><em>The day you slipped away,<em>  
><em>Was the day I found it won't be the same."<em>

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Alois sat in the emptiness, his bottom resting on the hard surface of the crumbing stone beneath him. The chain on his wrist held him firmly to it, not that he could exactly move anywhere. All around him was simply: black space. There were no other little circles of stone, walls, anything. It was just..._empty_.

He thought of _him_often. Claude Faustus, the demon he had once been contracted to. However, after Alois had dueled with Ciel, he found himself with a painful wound to the stomach as Ciel was dragged away in the arms of his own demon, Sebastian.

He remembered it clearly, more clearly than he remembered even his days at old man Trancy's when he was merely an object; A whore to be used and thrown away.

He closed his eyes as he huddled, looking for warmth. Though, it was odd. He was...dead, wasn't he? Just a soul without a body. So, how could he feel cold or pain? But alas, he did. He felt as if he was freezing, as if ice was slowly spreading through his entire body, he felt his heart ache at the memories that swarmed him.

He trembled as he remembered Claude's blank look when he had reached out to him, had asked for help.

He had noticed his preoccupation after he licked Ciel's blood from his face, noticed even the shining light of desire in those cold eyes.

Eyes that never once looked at him like that. Not with such utter abandon.

His heart constantly ached, tears coming forth to brim his eyes as he thought about it.

He knew, long before that day, that Claude was slowly slipping away from him, distancing himself even more than he already had from the child. But that day was the day he knew what would happen, despite Claude's whispered words of encouragement.

He would die, and Claude would leave him.

It was simple, yet tragic.

He truly loved the seemingly emotionless demon, and still did.

It was rather pathetic, really.

"I miss you..." He whispered quietly, then raised his face to the darkness above him as tears poured silently from his eyes.

_Can you hear me, Claude?_ _I miss you. I miss you so bad, Claude..._

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A/N: WHAT IS THIS. WHY IS MY HEAD FULL OF SONGFICS? ARRGDFSDLFAFFSD. There'll be more to come, stay tuned!

**Read and reviewwww.**

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	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Well, here's the next little chapter to this songfic. Enjoy.

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"I didn't get around to kiss you,  
>Goodbye on the hand.<br>I wish I could see you again,  
>I know that I can't.<p>

I hope you can hear me,  
>I remember it clearing.<br>The day you slipped away,  
>Was the day I found it won't be the same."<p>

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The pain of the wound in his stomach had been nothing compared to the pain in his heart. True, he had been fucking bleeding to death. But he didn't care about his body that much, after all it belonged to Claude. It was his to devour when Alois' wish was fulfilled. In any way he saw fit.

To Alois, it was merely a shell.

Now, it was a broken, rotting shell.

He remembered wandering off while Hannah fought that Shinigami. The redheaded man that had appeared out of nowhere.

Where had Alois been heading to again?

Ciel?

Had he been going off to see him?

Alois couldn't remember anymore, his reasoning's fuzzy even to him.

He remembered falling against a tree as he lost blood. Too much, obviously. He was numb, tired, weak.

There was a growl nearby.

A wolf, or some other sort of wild dog.

It lunged, prepared to tear out Alois' throat. He remembered his last thought before he had closed his eyes.

_"Fuck it."_

Hardly elegant, really.

Yet it suited him perfectly.

The growl had snapped off with a sharp whine, and he cracked open one blue eye to take in the stunningly beautiful sight before him.

Claude, standing against the light of the moon as he held the dead carcass of the wild dog in his hand.

Alois knew then that he didn't want to die just yet.

Not...just yet.

As Claude scolded him, he simply smiled at the demon. Soon however, he was crying.

He had crawled to him, unable to walk anymore. He had clung to the male's leg and cried and begged, pleading pathetically that he didn't want to die.

Then he said what he had been feeling for years.

_"I love you!"_

The demon simply looked down at him, his face emotionless as only he could do. Alois had rambled on, saying something about Claude being his highness.

Suddenly, he felt Claude's hands on his tear streaked face.

Startled, he had simply stared at the male as he whispered a sentence. A mere sentence. Yet it made Alois' heart pound, all the same.

_"What a thing to say to a mere butler."_

He felt a slight pressure on his temples, and he knew what Claude was going to do.

Yes, he knew then that he was going to die.

However, he didn't fight it.

To die by the hand of the man you love... Is somewhat of a beautiful thing.

A slight pressure.

A build up of sudden pain.

Then nothing.

Nothing but emptiness, and this small slab of stone flooring.

He realized then that he hadn't done what he had wanted most of all to do.

He had wanted to kiss Claude.

Even once, anywhere.

He should have turned his head before his head was crushed, honestly.

Kissed the palm of those deceitfully strong hands.

As he sat alone in the dark, he thought about it over and over in his mind.

He should have.

Now he never would.

No, he didn't illusion himself with the prospect of seeing Claude ever again face to face.

To touch him. Or even to simply talk to him.

No, that would most likely never occur again.

He _knew_ that.

But that didn't mean that he gave up, exactly.

He talked to the emptiness as if it were Claude himself, hoping that maybe by chance his voice would extend past the ring and reach the ears of his demon.

No... Not his anymore.

He never "his".

He knew that.

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A/N: Read and review, please. There is going to be more, don't worry.

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